some days

Working in the creative space can be horribly daunting at times. Marry that with a perfectionist personality and honestly, its almost too much some days. 

I am exceptionally passionate about what I do but more often than not, I find myself with little to no time to do things at the level that I would deem my very best. I am not suggesting that everything needs to be perfect, in fact the less perfect and more natural, the better. What I do struggle with is creating content worthy of attention that doesn't get buried amongst all the other work out there. 

I lack consistency- this I know. I can't always blog every day because I have work, kids, a husband, a home that I am dying to make changes to and somewhere in between all of that, I try hard to find time to exercise and take care of myself. I do not spend time with my friends like I used to. Scheduling a date that works for everyone seems next to impossible these days. In the rat race of it all, I am left feeling like 'now what'? What content did I produce that was so good it made an impact on someone today? How did I inspire someone?

My brain is constantly working over time. I have ideas coming out the ying yang that sometimes give me heart palpitations. The ability to stay focused can be a hell of a challenge but I am trying. Patience, equally a fault of mine, is where I often fall down. I like to create success quickly in everything I do. It is a true learned behaviour for me to take a back seat from time to time and let nature take its course or quite frankly just let someone else be in control for once. 

Amidst all of this is the struggle of seeing success being created around you. I often find myself scratching my head at how some people have been able to create the life they have with what seems like a flawless approach. I know this isn't realistic, I am not naive to that but I would be lying if I didn't question if I am doing it all wrong some times.