self advocacy

As a female, many moments in our lives that we deem big accomplishments, fall in to the shadows of someone or something else or quite simply get swept under the rug. Then there are the moments, when we express our accomplishments and this subtle silence looms around us, almost as though to say that patting yourself on the back is a faux pas. Self advocacy seems to be this four letter word rivalled with underlying jealously. 

The woman who is falling apart at the seams because she is juggling a job, a home, kids, partners (or not) is looked at as a 'disaster' in the eyes of her counterpart female 'friends'. Flip this on its head and the woman who is actually excelling in many areas of her life particularly her career or entrepreneurial endeavour combined with being a parent is just a show off in a super hero costume. 

Avoiding criticism may just be the number one thing woman strive for. How do I skirt any negative attention and be seen as the person who everyone wants to be friends with? or at the very least, say 'she is a really lovely person' 

I have read many articles recently on this topic include this one from Goop, which cites the same negative connotation that comes with self praise when someone wants to share in the excitement of an accomplishment. Women see it as bragging instead of joining in their passion and being a part of the success vs shunning it. 

Then there is the saying, 'everyone is your friend until they become competition' talk about a dog eat dog world. Are we really trying to constantly one up each other?

I have had my own struggles here. I constantly hold back and desperately try to be humble for fear that people think my life is perfect or well accomplished. What I wish I could say and every other woman be able to say is this:

No one is perfect

We all want to be liked

We all want to succeed

Every day something is hard and we break

I will not be the first or the last to start something and there is room for EVERYONE

I want to leave this earth because my heart means more to people than any design or business I will create


In following my passion, I want to share it only with those who equally want to invest in me because really- life it short. Invest in the people who want to invest in you! Say that over and over and over and then let go of those who don't admire you for everything you do exceptionally well and the things that quite frankly are just shit. Thats your village- now go and build it. 

image +